Boys With Guns

1000 HITS!!!

Thanks to ALL OF YOU who accidentally visited my BLOG!!!

Hey All You Classy Utah Jazz Fans...

Can you tell the rest of us how the back of Derek Fisher's balls taste?

"Freedom of Speech?" or "Freedom of Douche-baggery?"

http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_15030582?source=most_viewed&nclick_check=1

WE ALL KNOW these kids were wearing American Flag clothes purely to give the finger to the Cinco de Mayo celebrants. When the hippy high school kids wore the clothing back in the 60's, they, too, were doing it to piss people off, by expressing their opinion that the flag is only a symbol. These kids even admit they wore the clothes in support of... See More Arizona's new immigration law. The article says "three boys left campus because they found the other option (turning their shirts inside out) to be 'disrespectful' to the flag." Though apparently not as disrespectful as using our nation's flag as an obvious symbol of hate. Good job for the Assistant Principal recognizing the difference between "freedom of speech" and "freedom of douche-baggery."

INDEED...

FAT Does NOT Equal TALENTED

Gabourey Sidibe's career won't be harmed by her weight... but it will be DESTROYED by her lack of talent. Did anyone see her on SNL? She might have come off "Precious" smelling like a rose, but it ain't talent if each scene needs 400 takes.

Belated ANZAC Day...

Everyone's Got an Opinion

SO LONG, MALCOLM!

"Detractors regarded him as a fame-hungry carny barker, hyping effervescent musical fads and trendy gear, and copping whatever attitude momentarily best served his opportunistic ends..." ESPECIALLY WHEN COMPARED TO ALL THE REST OF THE SHOW BUSINESS DOUCHE-BAGS, WHO ARE SUCH SINCERE, BENEVOLENT ALTRUISTS.

Happy FRIDAY!!!

Glenn Beck's Balls

It's time to start understanding what America is actually about, from things like our Constitution, rather than what Glenn Beck reads on the back of his balls.

Be Afraid, Actual America... Be Very Very Afraid...

THESE are the people who are out to Destroy EVERYTHING Good about America...

Oh, Please...

http://www.premiere.com/Feature/10-Movies-That-Were-Better-Than-The-Books

3/4's of the books on that list are pieces of shit anyway, so no duh the movies were better. Talk about shooting fish in a barrel.

And with the other 25%, the article's author has his head up his ass. ("Fear and Loathing" the movie better than "Fear and Loathing" the book? Entire list automatically null and void.)

"10 MOVIES THAT WERE ALSO BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL BOOKS" (found in under 5 minutes)

10. Precious
9. Jumanji
8. There Will Be Blood
7. Ordinary People
6. The Witches
5. Black Hawk Down
4. Das Boot
3. Cocoon
2. The Player
1. The Poseidon Adventure

I'd come up with 10 more but I'm probably mad about something else by now...

Palinomics 101

"You betcha!" (is America fixed yet? Okay, let me try again.) "You betcha!"
(now? Okay, one more time) "By golly, you betcha, hope-y change-y!"
(There. Fixed. No? Fuck it, where's my FOX money?)

OUCH!

VARIETY (Hollywood) "James Cameron to begin production on docu-drama based on his experiences at 2010 Oscars. Tentatively titled 'Ow! My Balls!'"

New Scientific Discovery!

This month's National Geographic has an article titled "Journey to the Center of Ann Coulter's Vagina." This is one of the pics the scientists were able to get...

Princess Aiko unable to go to school after boys treated her harshly+

Wow. Two things. I know "Emperor of Japan" doesn't have the same cache it did before August, 1945 but in what universe does the FARKIN' EMPEROR OF JAPAN have to ask permission of his grandkid's school to release info about his grand-daughter being bullied?! And second, WHAT UNIVERSE are those boys' parents going to have to move to when the Japanese learn their little sushi-turds have been bullying the Emperor's grand-daughter??!

Hope This Helps, Ms. Dorson

Why I Regret Voting For President Obama

by Jill Dorson



Don't you worry your pretty little head, Jill, honey. Those of us who voted for Obama -- not for me, not for you, but for America -- will see this through to the next round. Just know that by voting for Obama, you voted the American Nazi Party (formerly the Republican Party) out of power, and that was Good Enough.

You see all the Rightwing-nuts who've responded to your article? They're called "the Retarded Minority," and the frothy spittle that flies out of their usually open mouth-holes is ACIDIC! Like those dinosaur things (or what THEY call "Jesus Horses") in "Jurassic Park." By voting against Sarah Palin, (and apparently accidentally for Obama. I can't really tell from your article. "Obama turned out to be a hard-working politician struggling against mouth-breathing pinheads instead of the Magical Half-Unicorn Elf-Man from Pandora I was expecting and now I can't have sex?" At least that's the best I could make from it.) Anway, THOSE Rightwing, tea-bagging Republitards are the America Haters you helped protect our country from. People like FRankG, Cupcake, and jpsbman who are eager to hold America down while the Nazi-Cons try to tushy-rape us again.

Here's another way to put it. Remember "that" scene from "Deliverance?" The Sarah Palin fanatics / teabaggers / Republitards are the hillbillies drilling Ned Beatty ("America") from behind. I know, I know, picturing America as Ned Beatty is hard enough, but everyone who voted for Obama, including you...? We're Burt Reynolds, with a bow-and-arrow!! And not just ANY Burt Reynolds... we're 1972 Burt Reynolds! So in 2010/12, when the Right tells you to help make America "squeal like a pig" for them, try to be Burt Reynolds one more time. And pretty soon you get to be in an even COOLER movie and make out with young Sally Fields!

Now before you get the vapors just go back to your settee, grab some hummus and tofu chips (50% off at Trader Joe's!) and put "Ellen" back on. Take a deep breath. There... feel better? We'll take it from here...

(SIGH)

When the original source is SO BRILLIANT that even a director as talented as Tim Burton can't get a grip on it until he's allowed to "re-imagine" it, you know there's gonna be trouble up ahead.