Thursday, September 09, 2010
Monday, September 06, 2010
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Friday, September 03, 2010
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Glenn Beck: that Rapscallion!
Does Glenn Beck speak for you? Sure, he can be a little "out there" some times, but Glenn only says out loud what we are all thinking, right? Do you hear what Glenn Beck says and think to yourself: "huh. that's interesting. I never really thought about it that way before. This guy might be on to something?" If that's the case, then your value as a human being and resident of our universe just dropped just below the little pieces of colored felt my dogs shit out of themselves after chewing up a tennis ball.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
BEST/WORST SURPRISING CAMEOS EVER...
BEST:
BILL MURRAY in "Little Shop of Horrors."
WORST:
JIMMY FALLON in "Band of Brothers."
BILL MURRAY in "Little Shop of Horrors."
WORST:
JIMMY FALLON in "Band of Brothers."
Really...? That's what you're going with...?
Bill Clinton had sex with some intern and wanted to keep it on the down-low. George Bush FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS and then made it illegal NOT to tell him "thank you."
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Disney Channel, Yeah!!
The Disney Channel said "we're really good at making Great TV shows!" No, no, no. They are TERRIBLE at making TV shows. The TV shows they make are TERRIBLE. They're FANTASTIC at SELLING Video Candy. They're like the Willy Wonkas of children's television. Except their big chocolate river is actually filled with actual shit.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
"Death Cab For Cutie"
Not the twee emo band, but the original song, by the Bonzo Dog Doo-dah Band...
Friday, August 13, 2010
SARAH PALIN SUPPORT = YOU ARE RETARDED
I'm convinced that if you support Sarah Palin you are actually Retarded. Not "mentally challenged." Not "right leaning." Not even "Conservative." You are literally RETARDED. Like Corky. Like "Something About Mary's" brother. LIke the kid in 4th grade who masturbated on the bus ride to Colonial Williamsburg. You + Support for Sarah Palin = A form of Mental Retardation your care-takers can only THANK FAKE GOD that President Obama's health plan will help them pay for your care and poop-wiping upkeep. Truly blessed are the heartfelt souls who care for your finger-up-the-butt-then-sniffing-for-interest form of curiosity. You should consider yourselves lucky that the same Constitution your Right Wing leaders use as maxi-pads and "adult-diapers" protects your liberty to support this woman who would send you to a "special Patriotic Care Camp" for your own "protection." Just check the box next to her name then fire up the ovens and just lean in... a... little... further...
I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to OFFER ANY FORM OF REBUKE. (INTELLIGENT rebuke, retards)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Tea-Party = Anti-America
http://www.stltoday.com/news/opinion/article_408ec9c4-c58a-5a4c-8b59-dd8943ba44e1.html
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Friday, August 06, 2010
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Hey! Republitards and Tea-Baggers! Listen up!
THIS is what America is...
http://gawker.com/5603633/lets-give-michael-bloomberg-a-hand
Occasionally, New York City's King, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, takes stands that aren't the easiest, politically. Now that Cordoba House—the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque"—will be constructed, let's give the man major credit for his rigorous defense.
Bloomberg gave an impressive speech this afternoon at Governors Island, with the Statue of Liberty behind him, to defend Cordoba House. The Muslim community center is now certain to be constructed after the Landmarks Preservation Commission voted unanimously this morning against providing historical status to the building near Ground Zero that will be demolished to make way for Cordoba.
The mayor's speech lived up to the grandiose optics. He even choked up at one point! We'd recommend reading the whole thing, if you get the chance. But here's a good section:
"The attack was an act of war, and our first responders defended not only our city, but our country and our constitution. We do not honor their lives by denying the very constitutional rights they died protecting. We honor their lives by defending those rights and the freedoms that the terrorists attacked.
"Of course, it is fair to ask the organizers of the mosque to show some special sensitivity to the situation, and in fact their plan envisions reaching beyond their walls and building an interfaith community. But doing so, it is my hope that the mosque will help to bring our city even closer together, and help repudiate the false and repugnant idea that the attacks of 9/11 were in any ways consistent with Islam.
"Muslims are as much a part of our city and our country as the people of any faith. And they are as welcome to worship in lower Manhattan as any other group. In fact, they have been worshipping at the site for better, the better part of a year, as is their right. The local community board in lower Manhattan voted overwhelmingly to support the proposal. And if it moves forward, I expect the community center and mosque will add to the life and vitality of the neighborhood and the entire city.
"Political controversies come and go, but our values and our traditions endure, and there is no neighborhood in this city that is off-limits to God's love and mercy, as the religious leaders here with us can attest."
The speech was a nice way to mark the end—or at least the end of this chapter—of the controversy. Bloomberg probably didn't expect this local zoning board dispute to become a national referendum when he started defending it, months ago. This was before Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, the National Republican Trust PAC, the Anti-Defamation League and many New York politicians stepped in to exploit the red meat at hand.
So today we give props to Michael Bloomberg, for sticking by his values on this one, and putting his famous stubborn streak to great use.
http://gawker.com/5603633/lets-give-michael-bloomberg-a-hand
Occasionally, New York City's King, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, takes stands that aren't the easiest, politically. Now that Cordoba House—the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque"—will be constructed, let's give the man major credit for his rigorous defense.
Bloomberg gave an impressive speech this afternoon at Governors Island, with the Statue of Liberty behind him, to defend Cordoba House. The Muslim community center is now certain to be constructed after the Landmarks Preservation Commission voted unanimously this morning against providing historical status to the building near Ground Zero that will be demolished to make way for Cordoba.
The mayor's speech lived up to the grandiose optics. He even choked up at one point! We'd recommend reading the whole thing, if you get the chance. But here's a good section:
"The attack was an act of war, and our first responders defended not only our city, but our country and our constitution. We do not honor their lives by denying the very constitutional rights they died protecting. We honor their lives by defending those rights and the freedoms that the terrorists attacked.
"Of course, it is fair to ask the organizers of the mosque to show some special sensitivity to the situation, and in fact their plan envisions reaching beyond their walls and building an interfaith community. But doing so, it is my hope that the mosque will help to bring our city even closer together, and help repudiate the false and repugnant idea that the attacks of 9/11 were in any ways consistent with Islam.
"Muslims are as much a part of our city and our country as the people of any faith. And they are as welcome to worship in lower Manhattan as any other group. In fact, they have been worshipping at the site for better, the better part of a year, as is their right. The local community board in lower Manhattan voted overwhelmingly to support the proposal. And if it moves forward, I expect the community center and mosque will add to the life and vitality of the neighborhood and the entire city.
"Political controversies come and go, but our values and our traditions endure, and there is no neighborhood in this city that is off-limits to God's love and mercy, as the religious leaders here with us can attest."
The speech was a nice way to mark the end—or at least the end of this chapter—of the controversy. Bloomberg probably didn't expect this local zoning board dispute to become a national referendum when he started defending it, months ago. This was before Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, the National Republican Trust PAC, the Anti-Defamation League and many New York politicians stepped in to exploit the red meat at hand.
So today we give props to Michael Bloomberg, for sticking by his values on this one, and putting his famous stubborn streak to great use.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
"Seasons in the Sun" #31
It's over!! It's over!! Praise Allah, it's over!! Thank you all for following me on this Journey of the Damned: 31 days of "Seasons in the Sun" = 31 days of July! Like the wine and song... the seasons have all gone...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
All Hail the Tea Party!!!!
The Patriotic Tea Party extravaganza about the Freedom Loving Patriot and his Freedom loving fight against the Socialist, Progressive Obama-Loving Census Takers who Dared to question how many people lived in his apartment!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 09, 2010
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Friday, July 02, 2010
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Friday, June 04, 2010
SNARO! and the STORY OF HIM
SNARO, THE FAMOUS CROATIAN LEADING MAN, WHO HAS STARRING IN HUNDREDS OF MOVIES ON HIS 11 YEARS CAREER IN THE CROATIAN FILM INDUSTRY. ALMOST SINGLE-HANDED PUTTING CROATIAN ENTERTAINMENT ON ALL CURRENT AND UP-TO-DATE BALKAN MAPS, SNARO IS A NATIONAL TREASURE TO HIS PEOPLE. ACTOR, SINGER, POLITICIO, HERO, LOVER -- SNARO HAS DONE IT ALL. THE MOUNTAIN-TOP OF HIS ACTING LIFE WAS TO STAR ON THE USA HIT TV SHOW "FRIENDS," WHERE HE CLEVERLY PORTRAYED A MAN WITH AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO ROSS SCHWIMMER, BOYFRIEND CHARACTER OF THE RACHEL GIRL.THE STORY OF SNARO HOLDS MANY PHOTOS. WE START WITH A FEW RELATED TO SNARO'S FAMOUS BOYHOOD IN CROATIA.
Village of Carciogenica... Sacred birthvillage of Snaro and traditional birthplace of all Snaro family. Many have broken longevity records for age. 43 is the highest so far! Good luck the Famous Snaro!
B'richit Valnit Snaro, eldest brother of Snaro, standing here with local whore.
Even today, Croatian children of all ages are taught about the birth of the Famous Snaro. Maybe one day they will give birth to Snaros of their own! (females only)
The One and Only Snaro! No wonder he was called on to play twin brother of Ross! It is like looking in a Schwimmer-style mirror of reflection!! 
Ross Schwimmer from American Television "Friends." His look of Snaro is uncanny. Here he is in next role for James Bond film. He will play "Tall Guard." 
Capt. R. Schwimmer in Iraq. The Patriotic Ross Schwimmer did his duty, serving heroically in Iraq with the army part of American military. He killed over 200 enemies of Freedom and almost 100 "maybes." (Final count pending) USA is #1 with Ross Schwimmer!
Generalissimo T'chokevrk, Arch-Enemy of the Famous Snaro! Reviled in Croatia, he has vowed the next time he sees Snaro it will be on the steps of the Palace of Croatian-Style Justice! "Vushnik valnik, Generalissimo!" ("Good Luck, Generalissimo!")
The Famous Mauser Snaro used. During their first debate, Generalissimo T'chokevrk felt its bite in his rump area more than once! Now in the Snaro Museum in C'rtyia. (Open Mondays from 2 PM to 3:15 PM)
Snaro Escapes!! Sexy Croatian Girl Reporter S'linka S'lavra reports daring escape of Snaro from Y'rbo Prison for Bears!! Notice almost half-dozen of International Reporters in background! Indeed, Snaro is World Hero!
The bear suit of the escape! N'revkian Border Guards watch the discarded bear costume worn during the escape from Y'rbo Prison for Bears. Suit is hand-factoried from lichen and children's games. It was a difficult escape, but successful, as always! All Hail the Famous Snaro!
His Loyal Donkey, Senor Rapido carried Snaro to safety through the mountains in only 27 days! Sr. Rapido enjoys Easy Listening musicals such as The Jackson Browns or Celine Dion.
All Hail Snaro!! Kati'a V'ri, Presidentissimo of the only Legally Recognized Snaro Fan Club. Kati'a has spent seven of her 11 years in prison for her devotion to the Famous Snaro. She claims she will die for Snaro... and will, at dawn, on 28 JUL. 2010.
Marvel at his way with womans! Snaro knows how to talk to womans in their own language. (Please aware yourself: none of these womans are paid womans for sex. They are real womans!) In center is "Slobbo!" famous clown and friend of Snaro!
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Hey All You Classy Utah Jazz Fans...
Can you tell the rest of us how the back of Derek Fisher's balls taste?
Thursday, May 06, 2010
"Freedom of Speech?" or "Freedom of Douche-baggery?"
http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_15030582?source=most_viewed&nclick_check=1
WE ALL KNOW these kids were wearing American Flag clothes purely to give the finger to the Cinco de Mayo celebrants. When the hippy high school kids wore the clothing back in the 60's, they, too, were doing it to piss people off, by expressing their opinion that the flag is only a symbol. These kids even admit they wore the clothes in support of... See More Arizona's new immigration law. The article says "three boys left campus because they found the other option (turning their shirts inside out) to be 'disrespectful' to the flag." Though apparently not as disrespectful as using our nation's flag as an obvious symbol of hate. Good job for the Assistant Principal recognizing the difference between "freedom of speech" and "freedom of douche-baggery."
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Sunday, May 02, 2010
FAT Does NOT Equal TALENTED
Gabourey Sidibe's career won't be harmed by her weight... but it will be DESTROYED by her lack of talent. Did anyone see her on SNL? She might have come off "Precious" smelling like a rose, but it ain't talent if each scene needs 400 takes.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Thursday, April 08, 2010
SO LONG, MALCOLM!
"Detractors regarded him as a fame-hungry carny barker, hyping effervescent musical fads and trendy gear, and copping whatever attitude momentarily best served his opportunistic ends..." ESPECIALLY WHEN COMPARED TO ALL THE REST OF THE SHOW BUSINESS DOUCHE-BAGS, WHO ARE SUCH SINCERE, BENEVOLENT ALTRUISTS.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Glenn Beck's Balls
It's time to start understanding what America is actually about, from things like our Constitution, rather than what Glenn Beck reads on the back of his balls.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Be Afraid, Actual America... Be Very Very Afraid...
THESE are the people who are out to Destroy EVERYTHING Good about America...
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Oh, Please...
http://www.premiere.com/Feature/10-Movies-That-Were-Better-Than-The-Books
3/4's of the books on that list are pieces of shit anyway, so no duh the movies were better. Talk about shooting fish in a barrel.
And with the other 25%, the article's author has his head up his ass. ("Fear and Loathing" the movie better than "Fear and Loathing" the book? Entire list automatically null and void.)
"10 MOVIES THAT WERE ALSO BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL BOOKS" (found in under 5 minutes)
10. Precious
9. Jumanji
8. There Will Be Blood
7. Ordinary People
6. The Witches
5. Black Hawk Down
4. Das Boot
3. Cocoon
2. The Player
1. The Poseidon Adventure
I'd come up with 10 more but I'm probably mad about something else by now...
3/4's of the books on that list are pieces of shit anyway, so no duh the movies were better. Talk about shooting fish in a barrel.
And with the other 25%, the article's author has his head up his ass. ("Fear and Loathing" the movie better than "Fear and Loathing" the book? Entire list automatically null and void.)
"10 MOVIES THAT WERE ALSO BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL BOOKS" (found in under 5 minutes)
10. Precious
9. Jumanji
8. There Will Be Blood
7. Ordinary People
6. The Witches
5. Black Hawk Down
4. Das Boot
3. Cocoon
2. The Player
1. The Poseidon Adventure
I'd come up with 10 more but I'm probably mad about something else by now...
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Palinomics 101
"You betcha!" (is America fixed yet? Okay, let me try again.) "You betcha!"
(now? Okay, one more time) "By golly, you betcha, hope-y change-y!"
(There. Fixed. No? Fuck it, where's my FOX money?)
OUCH!
VARIETY (Hollywood) "James Cameron to begin production on docu-drama based on his experiences at 2010 Oscars. Tentatively titled 'Ow! My Balls!'"
New Scientific Discovery!
This month's National Geographic has an article titled "Journey to the Center of Ann Coulter's Vagina." This is one of the pics the scientists were able to get...
Friday, March 05, 2010
Princess Aiko unable to go to school after boys treated her harshly+
Wow. Two things. I know "Emperor of Japan" doesn't have the same cache it did before August, 1945 but in what universe does the FARKIN' EMPEROR OF JAPAN have to ask permission of his grandkid's school to release info about his grand-daughter being bullied?! And second, WHAT UNIVERSE are those boys' parents going to have to move to when the Japanese learn their little sushi-turds have been bullying the Emperor's grand-daughter??!
Monday, March 01, 2010
Hope This Helps, Ms. Dorson
Why I Regret Voting For President Obama
by Jill Dorson
Don't you worry your pretty little head, Jill, honey. Those of us who voted for Obama -- not for me, not for you, but for America -- will see this through to the next round. Just know that by voting for Obama, you voted the American Nazi Party (formerly the Republican Party) out of power, and that was Good Enough.
You see all the Rightwing-nuts who've responded to your article? They're called "the Retarded Minority," and the frothy spittle that flies out of their usually open mouth-holes is ACIDIC! Like those dinosaur things (or what THEY call "Jesus Horses") in "Jurassic Park." By voting against Sarah Palin, (and apparently accidentally for Obama. I can't really tell from your article. "Obama turned out to be a hard-working politician struggling against mouth-breathing pinheads instead of the Magical Half-Unicorn Elf-Man from Pandora I was expecting and now I can't have sex?" At least that's the best I could make from it.) Anway, THOSE Rightwing, tea-bagging Republitards are the America Haters you helped protect our country from. People like FRankG, Cupcake, and jpsbman who are eager to hold America down while the Nazi-Cons try to tushy-rape us again.
Here's another way to put it. Remember "that" scene from "Deliverance?" The Sarah Palin fanatics / teabaggers / Republitards are the hillbillies drilling Ned Beatty ("America") from behind. I know, I know, picturing America as Ned Beatty is hard enough, but everyone who voted for Obama, including you...? We're Burt Reynolds, with a bow-and-arrow!! And not just ANY Burt Reynolds... we're 1972 Burt Reynolds! So in 2010/12, when the Right tells you to help make America "squeal like a pig" for them, try to be Burt Reynolds one more time. And pretty soon you get to be in an even COOLER movie and make out with young Sally Fields!
Now before you get the vapors just go back to your settee, grab some hummus and tofu chips (50% off at Trader Joe's!) and put "Ellen" back on. Take a deep breath. There... feel better? We'll take it from here...
(SIGH)
When the original source is SO BRILLIANT that even a director as talented as Tim Burton can't get a grip on it until he's allowed to "re-imagine" it, you know there's gonna be trouble up ahead.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
A News Dawn...?
http://www.politicususa.com/en/hep-smith-healthcare
Is anyone else sensing a new era of "open season" on politicians, i.e. calling them on their bullshiat? In the last couple of months, especially with the praise after President Obama owned the R's at that first televised meeting, many reporters are starting to enjoy the publicity brownie points they get when they actually do what they're supposed to be doing in the first place: their jobs. "Hey, if I call this a-hole a misleading, talking-points-only liar to his face, I get some press of my own!!" Sigh. Whatever it takes, I guess, to make these political frauds (R or D) keep their noses clean.
Fingers crossed!!
Keep Up the Good Work, Republicans!
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/2/26/840976/-Breaking:-Republican-Senator-to-Unemployed:-Tough-Sh*t.
And when his constituents, who'll vote him back into office because their only concern is keeping the reigns on "that socialist, America-hating nigger in the White House," find themselves running out of unemployment benefits, I'll have one response for them...
"Tough Shit."
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
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