ELIZADOOLITTLE STARTS OFF BY SHOWING EVERYONE SHE CAN MAKE CONTROVERSIAL COMMENTS!
"AUGUST11" DOES THE INTERNET EQUIVALENT OF HITTING ON A WOMAN BY TELLING HER SHE HAS "A NICE HAIRCUT..."
ElizaDoolittle: I guess this won't be a popular post, but there are/were tons of better writers out there.
AUGUST11: This.
AUGUST11: This.
ELIZADOOLITTLE BLUSHES WITH THE FALSE MODESTY SHE'S BEEN PRACTICING SINCE SHE GOT THAT A+ ON AN ESSAY IN "1920'S FRENCH LIT" AS A FRESHMAN AT BROWN...
Thanks. I'm not around Fark often enough to know if this is a Fark cliche - aren't they all - but thanks for the best summation of an "I agree; thread over" I've ever read. I will steal it.
Not because my post was in anyway noteworthy. Your response was.
AUGUST11 (TO ELIZADOOLITTLE)
Well I entered the thread in a bit of a snit due to the hero tag. I thought for sure your Weeners, would be that of a cretin who has never read much, was weaned on Scooby Doo and Coco puffs, and is a great fan of HST because of the Depp film. I was pleasantly surprised.
When I think of all the thinkers, the ones who really changed the game, I don't think of HST. He was more result than cause.
I've got an army of favorited Farkers, all in green 5, who regularly produce better prose, better insight and nuance, better copy.
I give HST his due, but there are better pre-fried examples of his talent.
KARMA CHAMELEON JOINS IN:
I don't think changing the world was ever his objective, nor should that be a criteria for what constitutes a great writer. I'd love to see your list of better writers though. I'm not disagreeing with you, but why offer such a comment with no other examples given?
ELIZADOOLITTLE (TO KARMA CHAMELEON):
You mean criterion (singular). Here's the guide: http://www.gingersoftware.com/english-online/spelling-book/confusing-words/criterion-criteria
I gave some examples of writers who changed the world above. Hours ago. Is it too much to ask that you read the entire thread?
KARMA CHAMELEON (TO ELIZADOOLITTLE)
So, you're kind of an asshole, huh?
ELIZADOOLITLE (TO KARMA CHAMELEON):
Well, if by asshole, you mean the kind of person who humiliates you by pointing out in a post about a writer that you don't know the difference between criterion and criteria - Certainly!
MAYNOTLAST JOINS IN, HAVING HAD THREE SCOTCH & SODAS...
ElizaDoolittle: I guess this won't be a popular post, but there are/were tons of better writers out there. I don't think he changed the world. He seemed mainly interested in being out of control of his mind. In that respect, I admire him.
I'll bet your stubby little fingers are weary from cutting and pasting that from "FakeWays2SeemSmart.com." Why don't you go get the grown-ups a beer and then you can find us all something else pseudo-intellectual from "TheBeatlesActuallySuck.net," "WhyStarWars-ReallyIsn'taGoodMovie.org" and "TheAllWomenGhostbustersWillBeAwesome.tard."
ELIZADOOLITTLE'S ORIGINAL ANTI-HUNTER S. THOMPSON POST RESULTS IN A RAINSTORM OF PRO-THOMPSON RESPONSES FROM THE REST OF THE INTERNET, RESULTING IN...
ELIZADOOLITTLE: (TO THE INTERNET)
I am too tired to respond. Consider yourselves the victor. I don't care.
MAYNOTLAST (TO ELIZADOOLITLE):
Saw this ending a mile off. You're adorable, Eliza. "I'm going say something controversial and make myself sound like a real intellectual but then I'm going to run and hide when I realize I shouldn't have opened my mouth in the Grown-Ups room."
As the great Dan Aykroyd once said: "If you can't handle the MIGs don't fly in MIG alley." Here's something that'll sooth your internet spanking...
AUGUST11 (TO MAYNOTLAST):
Yeah. No. Work on your greenlights, simpleton.
MAYNOTLAST (TO AUGUST11):
(NEWCOMER) AUSSIE_AS (TO THE COMMENTS SECTION)
The point that Eliza fails to get is that different writers speak to their various readers in varying ways and HST forever rejected the thought he'd be writing for everyone. Those of us who share some of his interests such as the art and profession of politics and a general interest in sport get him and the rest don't have to.
ELIZADOOLITTLE (TO AUSSIE_AS):
Hunter Thompson Behind every thinking person's thoughts? Not even close. That's an insult to Voltaire and Hugo and Dante.
MAYNOTLAST (TO ELIZADOOLITTLE):
Eliza... you said you were too tired to participate anymore! Now you're going to be cranky tomorrow and when you try to look like an edgy quirkster by posting "I thought Atticus Finch was a racist even in 'To Kill a Mockingbird''' in the "Harper Lee" comments page it's gonna be full of typos! Go to bed and put "Girls" on HBO and pretend it's brilliant. (Don't forget to put the TV Sleep timer on 10 mins.)
ELIZADOOLITTLE (TO MAYNOTLAST):
Click on smartest comments and see who got the most votes. Before you rig it by voting for every other commenter, I am winning, and I was winning all last night. And it wasn't a comment meant to be controversial. Do you have a problem with women who express their thoughts as clearly as I did? At that hour of the night?
I've never claimed to be an intellectual. Far from it. I had a fairly-formed opinion, and I argued it fairly well. Then I just decided I never cared enough about this second-rate journalist to argue it further.
MAYNOTLAST (TO ELIZADOOLITTLE):
Eliza! Holy fark! I TOTALLY DID NOT see who was winning the FARK'S "smartest comments" votes. I deeply deeply apologize.
(BTW, my nephew won a similar award at the Special Olympics in 1998: "Least Retarded.")
(BTW, my nephew won a similar award at the Special Olympics in 1998: "Least Retarded.")
And thank you for pulling the "What is your problem with smart women?" card. Yes, the reason I called you out on your idiotics is because I have a problem with smart women. Thank god so many men have a problem with smart women, otherwise, meerkats-wearing-earrings like you would have to fathom a REAL reason other people reserve their conversations with you to questions like: "Can I have the dressing on the side?" and "Will you please give me the remote. We are NOT watching 'The Bachelor' again."
I think your above comment "I've never claimed to be an intellectual. Far from it." might be the most astute thing you've said all night. Probably second only to "Hey, it's 8:25 and the next showing of 'Spy' is 8:45, that's in like, 20 minutes!"
Good luck with your endeavors to appear relevant. Hopefully you have a friend who will let you know when the crosswalk light is green.
AUGUST11 (TO MAYNOTLAST):
You are a pimple on the back end of humanity. Only you don't know it. See, I know that this thread is a tiny juvenile yard. Yet you think it is, well, significant. Probably your fractured ego needs it to be significant. HST would have probably used the word "electric," stinging, shocking maybe, but short-lived and insignificant in the long run. Go to sleep, little pimple.
MAYNOTLAST (TO AUGUST11):
Oh, DUDE !!!! You were SO CLOSE! All you had to do was ignore me! But you responded to my shiatty "little pimple" of a post by zinging me about how I'm the one who thinks this "tiny juvenile yard" is significant!
Better luck next time.
MAYNOTLAST WAS THEN BLOCKED FROM THE COMMENTS SECTION
BUT THEN... THE VERY NEXT MORNING ON JEZEBEL.COM:
MAYNOTLAST (TO ELIZADOOLITLE, WHO WAS POSTING IN A DIFFERENT COMMENTS SECTION):
ElizaDoolittle: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: She was very nice and almost loving one moment, and then almost completely violent the next.
ELIZA!! ELIZA!!! Remember when we were talking last night and I responded to your generic "Hunter S. Thompson sucks" post with this...?
"Eliza... you said you were too tired to participate anymore! Now you're going to be cranky tomorrow and when you try to look like an edgy quirkster by posting "I thought Atticus Finch was a racist even in 'To Kill a Mockingbird''' in the "Harper Lee" comments page it's gonna be full of typos! Go to bed and put "Girls" on HBO and pretend it's brilliant. (Don't forget to put the TV Sleep timer on 10 mins.)"
WELL TODAY I SAW YOUR ARTICLE ON JEZEBEL!! CONGRATS ON THE NEW JOB!! (And I LOVE your pen name!) Please feel free to credit me with the idea!
NO RESPONSE YET FROM ELIZA.
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