MOVIES THAT NO ONE WILL ADMIT ACTUALLY SUCK...

#4: "THE HANGOVER"#5: "BAD SANTA"

MOVIES THAT NO ONE WILL ADMIT ACTUALLY SUCK...

#1: "OFFICE SPACE"#2: "CLERKS"#3: "OLD SCHOOL"

Friday!!!

A Confederacy of Douche-Bags...

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2011/05/self-aware_much.php?ref=fpblg

It's Friday!!!!!!!!

Things Not To Do When You're Drunk - #17...

...Just like eBay, DON'T Go Anywhere Near the "Season Pass" button on Tivo!
Why, again, do I have season passes to "Dennis the Menace,""The Partridge Family," and "Hazel?"

C'mon! Even MayNotLast Has a Heart!

Republicans Call For "Papertowel Airlift..."

GOP calling for "papertowel airlift" to "clean the President's jizz off our faces. We mean 'to clean our BELOVED President's jizz of our faces.'"

Did You "Take Your Daughter To Work" Yesterday...?

Here's the worst "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" EVER!

FRIDAY! (Royal Wedding Edition)

3000 HITS !!!!

I thank you...

"Abbey Road" Album Cover Dissected Better Than Zapruder's Home Movies...

http://www.snapgalleries.com/exhibitions/beatles-and-bystanders-the-abbey-road-sessions/

ANZAC Day

On This Day in History...

...Jesus's Disciples, or, as they were known by the Roman Authorities, "al-Qaeda," have to quickly come up with a cover story to explain why the Roman Department of Satis Patria were able to take their poster boy, Mr. J. H. Christ, the poor sap who they've been promoting as the destroyer of Rome, Son of god, the Messiah, and just simply nail him up like common purse snatcher. Oopsie!

And boy oh boy, did they come up with a whopper...!

Baby, I Care... that it's FRIDAY!!!!!!!

"Don't Mess With Retards!"

http://www.examiner.com/political-buzz-in-national/texas-governor-perry-asks-president-obama-for-federal-assistance-to-fight-fires

Texas is lucky to be part of Actual America, where we let bygones be bygones... In a more judgemental world Actual America would be quite right in asking "see, retarded adopted child? Now do you understand why you don't stick your tongue in a power socket."

2911 Hits??!

I might be reading to much into this but 2? + 911? 2 x 9/11? A second 9/11??!! Everybody PANIC!!!!!!
OR... HOPEFULLY... it just means I'll be getting another Porsche! Everybody say YAY!!!

Well, why not...?

VENDREDI !!!

Is It Just Me...? (Royal Wedding Edition)

...or does this Kate Middleton... ...seem more like the woman the Prince is SUPPOSED to marry, a little reluctantly, until he goes for Royal drive because he "just needs a moment alone in the midst of all this crazy Royal Wedding Mania" and his Royal Jaguar breaks down in the rain and when he finally finds a pub where he can make a Royal phone call to Buckingham Palace he meets adorably quirky yet totally down-to-earth American Anne Hathaway / Amy Adams / Claire Danes, (or, in 1998, Meg Ryan) who is a Broke-Art-Student / Reporter-Covering-the-Royal-Wedding-for-Access-Hollywood / Garbage-man's-Daughter-Hitchhiking-Through-Europe... ...who doesn't recognize he's the heir to the throne and like a totally adorable klutz spills her pint of Guinness on him, causing HRH to fall Royally in love with her and buck the system and re-think marrying this "Middleton Woman" even though it might Royally Piss Off the Establishment since she's a perfect candidate for Future-Queen -- apart from the fact that she can be a bit cold and materialistic and only calls him "William" and not "Wills" like his friends do and doesn't like to have fun like the Prince (and Anne/Amy/Claire) does? (i.e. in "Four Weddings and Funeral" Kate Middleton would have been THIS one......and not THIS one...

It Was Forty (one) Years Ago, Today...

...Sgt. Pepper said he wouldn't play...

2 x Friday!

Ready, Steady, FRIDAY...!

I Like Funny As Much As the Next Guy, But...

but a video starring Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, John C. Reilly, Jack Black, Seth Rogan, Rainn Wilson, AND Will Arnett (what, Paul Rudd was busy?) as a showcase for all their Very Small Bags of Comedic Tics is just an exercise in "Irony Masturbation" and not comedy. (and there are enough "surprise" cameos in this thing to keep Lorne Michaels in boners for months!) (That being said, it's a pretty great video and the Beastie Boys ROCK as always.)

History is FUN...!

During Prohibition bootleggers made a tidy profit brewing "bathtub terriers."

Amen, Indeed!

Brilliant. The End.

Adult Swim DREAMS of Being This Cool...

Soupy Sales in 1965...

Friday, mon...

This is a Good Song for Today...

MYTHBUSTERS!!

Now THIS is Songwriting...

This is the kind of well-crafted, agile songwriting skills the creators of "Friday" can't come CLOSE to imitating!

You HAD To Know...

That This Would Be Here Today...

Indeed...

Is It Just Me, Or...

...Does Anyone Else Think It's OK If Germany Stays Out of Libya This Time... http://af.reuters.com/article/libyaNews/idAFLDE72I0AE20110319

...friday... again...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

"Mars Needs Moms" SUPER BOMB!

Whatever it takes. I love Robert Zemeckis, but if Disney has to lose $200 million to keep him from making "3-D Yellow Submarine" then so be it. Every little bit counts...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/15/business/media/15mars.html


(and SUCK IT Berkeley Breathed!! How do the back of Garry Trudeau's balls taste, you FRAUD??!)

2525 HITS!!!!

Is It Wrong to Think...

...Natalie Portman is a "Great Actor..." the same way Lassie was a "Great Actor?"
Both seem to be graduates of the "hit your mark, look blankly in correct direction, raise paw = a yummy chicken strip" school of acting.

Comedy doesn't get funnier than this...

Kevin Pollak as "Albert Brooks" and Dave Coulier as "Super Dave Osborne." Why am I only learning NOW that this piece of Comedy Heaven exists!!!!??

2500 HITS!!?

I... I... I feel like Paul McCartney! (sniff, wipes tear)

Meh... it's Friday...

Son of a... !!

Then is Now!

I heard the opening of "52 Girls" in a Target commercial. Not "Rock Lobster!" Not even "Planet Claire!" "52 GIRLS!!" ??!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJgvJvIo2-U

Almost FRIDAY..!!!!!!!!!!!!

National Treasure 2...

Not as good. Not horrible, but not as good as #1. For some reason Nicolas Cage and Bridget Von Hammersmark hate each other at the beginning and there's a romantic comedy subplot between Jon Voight and Helen Mirren (!) that must have required all the jack-hammers in Burbank to jam in. Ed Harris sleepwalks his way through "Character #2" from his "Bad Guy" catalogue. Also, there were more times in this movie where I said to myself "Are you kidding me?" than in the first one, where I mostly said "Hmmm, okay. I'll buy that." (And the blatant set-up for "National Treasure 3" was a bit distasteful.)

I Have to Say...

..."National Treasure..." Not too shabby so far. It's taken me this long to see it and I have to admit it was a glimpse of an intriguing scene in "National Treasure II" that made me say "Wait a sec. I'd better start all this from the beginning."
FULL DISCLOSURE: I was a 2nd A.D. on Jon Turteltaub's very first movie and he was a Great Guy.
(It also doesn't hurt that this movie also stars "Bridget Von Hammersmark.")

FRIdAy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awwwwww! Remember "Pheely?"

MERENGUE!!

I think this guy's gonna be very disappointed once he takes his beer-goggles off.

The Simpsons

I know this question might seem very 1998 but did anyone watch "The Simpsons" tonight? ("Angry Dad: the Movie") When did "The Simpsons" get so pissy? Slamming people who left "The Simpsons" in their dust so long ago they probably don't even remember doing it. Are the creative minds behind the show upset that while they've spent the past 10 years coasting a whole new pool of writers and animators long ago out-cooled them? Don't have cow, man.

Portlandia

Do you think Fred Armisen knows "Portlandia" is a satire? Because in every interview I've seen him he gives me the impression that he's in a loving homage. They've told him it's not, right? Again, I've never met Fred, but I wonder that while he knows how to perform things funny, he actually might not have a sense of humor. Full disclosure: I've never seen an episode of "Portlandia." My "twee" glands couldn't handle the overload.

FRIDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE DOES THE MOVIE THEATER LINE START...??!!

"Hello, Pot -- this is Kettle. You're Black."

...whenever you're forced to watch another one of those "don't pirate movies" ads in the theater, just remember that these same companies who are "outraged" at the thought of pirated movies began their careers as Actual Movie Pirates! Arrrrrgh... and CUT!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motion_Picture_Patents_Company

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!

What's really cool is you can see how this footage from one particularly talented camera-man was eventually cut into the actual "Top of the Pops" show...

Do Bears...?

It Was 20 Years Ago Today...

I married my beautiful and lovely wife. It was right after she and her girlfriends got together and made me this video...

GLEE!

I watched "Glee" for the first time the other night and yep -- this is a stupid stupid show.

"Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're talented." -- Eleanor Roosevelt, Jr.

I Just Heard...

..."like a piece of poo stuck in a sheep's anal shrubbery."

-- Jeremy Clarkson, "Top Gear"

House of Negroes

I watched an episode of "Tyler Perry's House of Payne" the other day and I swear to god it was like watching a Wayans Brothers 1998 parody of a white network executive's version of a "black" sitcom. But it was a REAL, 2010 sitcom!!! From Tyler Perry -- the guy who invented Black People!! WTF??

Puppy Bowl VII Tomorrow!!!

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/puppy-bowl/

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!

Obamalocialism at Work!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/03/AR2011020305323.html

"Woof-woof!!" he says...

Prime Time TV in a Tea Bagger America...

So Shut Up!!!

http://www.cracked.com/article_18983_5-complaints-about-modern-life-that-are-statistically-b.s..html

#31: And Finally...!

I think this person made the list twice! Now THAT'S clever!

#30: And now... Live from Solitary Confinement!

#29: Yellow Sunglasses are Not Enough....

#28: Not Dashing AT ALL...

#27: Dashing!

Before / After

#26: Drums!!!

Just Because

#25: Acid!

#24: Folksters!

#23: Hipsters!!

#22: PIRATES!!!

How Things Work in ACTUAL America...

http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/viewer-trust-fox-news-plummets-past-y

#21: Dancey!!

#20: Talented...

Pick Your Side (and Please Don't Drink & Drive)

Awwwwww!

#19: Joni Mitchell Jr.

#18: Amen, Bruthah!

#17: Gotta Dance!

#16: German-y!

#15: Speedy!

It's Also FRIDAY!!!!

Since it's also Friday, 78 degrees in Los Angeles, and the start of a 3-day weekend, here's how I'm feeling Right Now. (sorry about the Vimeo)

#14: Romantic!

Shift Focus Warning...

I just watched a whole documentary on Haiti shot in that recently hip "shift-focus" style that makes everything looks like toys. Is this the start of a new style of film-making, like "shaky-cam" in 2000? If so, move back a little, because I'm going to blow my brains out.

Finally, a GREAT Sarah Palin Speech!

#13: Scary!!

This Explains EVERYthing!

Tea-Baggers 'n Hillbillies ain't retards, they's junkies!
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=a-love-hate-relationship