...do pets "catch a cold" like we do? And if your pet has a cold, or the flu, or something, can we catch it from them? Just wondering...
Friday, December 03, 2010
Just Wondering...
...do pets "catch a cold" like we do? And if your pet has a cold, or the flu, or something, can we catch it from them? Just wondering...
Thursday, December 02, 2010
we are the music makers
We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Rock & Roll: Lesson 413...
If you see a rock band and there's a girl playing cello or violin, that's the lead singer's girlfriend.
If there's a guy playing the trumpet or trombone, he owns the van.
If there's a guy playing the trumpet or trombone, he owns the van.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
"Sarah Palin's Alaska..."
...it's like "The Sound of Music" but without the music and the Nazis win!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Demi Lovato's Disney Show To Go On Without Her | Radar Online
...and this is why there isn't a single Executive at the Disney Channel who will not be going to hell...
Demi Lovato's Disney Show To Go On Without Her | Radar Online
Demi Lovato's Disney Show To Go On Without Her | Radar Online
Friday, November 12, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
THIS is America...
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/11/07/residents-missouri-town-block-protesters-picketing-soldiers-funeral/?test=latestnews
Sunday, November 07, 2010
TEXAS: America's Adopted Retard Child...
http://gawker.com/5683811/redneck-texas-governor-warring-with-mother-nature-california
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
YEP...
http://gawker.com/5679437/every-time-a-teen-star-goes-to-rehab-a-disney-executive-gets-his-wings
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
"FUNNY PEOPLE" full of EVIL PEOPLE...
I'm finally watching "Funny People." 12 minutes in -- so far, pretty great. Still think Leslie Mann only works because she let's Judd Apatow fuck her. Jury out.
time for another martini
39 minutes in. Still Awesome. (I know that commenting on a movie's progress every few minutes might not indicate a compelling movie but "Funny People" is working out just fine... so far.)
(FYI go see "Jackass 3D" this weekend)
Leslie Mann is back at 1:04 into "Funny People." She must be AWESOME in the sack, because she sucks ASS in the movies.
In what universe does a guy watch Leslie Mann and think: "How did I let you get away!?" She reminds me a razor sharp needle you might jam into your cock.
"How could you cheat on me? I'm so hot!" says Leslie Mann's character at 1:05 into "Funny People." "Because I like fucking vaginas but not cunts?" is what Adam Sandler should say back.
Okay, now I see why this movie started to fall apart for some people. Leslie Mann is NOT a sympathetic "ex-girlfriend." She should only play the "shrewish ex-wife" who's trying to take Greg Kinnear for everything he's got, while his lawyer (David Schwimmer) fights for custody of the kids.
Any sympathy you might have for Adam Sandler evaporates as you learn he still cares for this brittle harpie.
Holy shit, I have to get off Leslie Mann's case. Except that her publicist seems to have forgotten she only appears in her husband's movies.
OK, the end.
FYI: at 1:15 "Funny People" still kicks ass.
Okay. I'm almost done. At 1:35 the movie's become so precious I almost want to puke. And sure enough, professional star fucker Leslie Mann would rather bang Adam Sandler's celebrity character than her own husband. What a whore.
I don't find a shrill bitch cheating on her husband with a celebrity to be "romantic" or "charming."
Okay... making sure we all think Leslie Mann's character is a complete CUNT just MIGHT be part of the story. Let's watch...
Nope. It's not. Adam Sandler's character is infatuated with this brittle ginch, while her adorable Australian husband, Eric Bana, is apparently a block of wood because he... speaks Chinese? Is Australian? Is rich? Not sure yet. However, if this is the road the movie's gonna take, I can see why it bombed. Adam Sandler's character is turning into a moron.
1:49. Now we're supposed to feel sympathetic for Leslie Mann and Adam Sandler because they're annoyed by her adorable husband who is enthusiastically trying to be friends with Adam Sandler? Fuck them.
"FUNNY PEOPLE??!!" Hideous, Obnoxious, Selfish cocky people!!
Okay, okay... I'm sensing Adam Sandler may be about to realize he's fallen in to a pit of self-centered cunt vipers. Maybe his character is about to be redeemed. But it's confusing. Another reason why this might have bombed.
FUCK THIS MOVIE!!!
Adam Sandler deserves to get the shit beat out of him, for letting that bitch manipulate him like that.
FUCK THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's pissing me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone in this movie is a complete douche-bag EXCEPT the guy who's SUPPOSED to be a douche-bag, Jason Schwartzman!!!!!!!!!!!
Adam Sandler does NOT redeem himself that the end.
This Movie Blows.
Friday, October 22, 2010
NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #7
A TWATFULL OF CUNTS...
"Did you watch any TV last night?"
"Nah, there was a twatfull of cunts on every channel."
"Did you watch any TV last night?"
"Nah, there was a twatfull of cunts on every channel."
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
RIP TV Mommy...
When we were little kids in the 70's my sister and I were in a big fight. She screamed at me: "You'd be a better brother if you learned more lessons from 'Leave it to Beaver!!!'" At the time I responded by taking a beat, then dropping to the ground and rolling around holding my stomach, tears of derisive laughter squirting out of my eyes. But now I look back and think solemnly to myself: "You were right, Sis... so very, very right."
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Try to Remember We All Live in the SAME America...
Sleep Tight, "Patriotic" America, and dream your dreamy dreams about the "Good Old Days" with your beloved Leader. Meanwhile, the rest of us here in *Actual* America will try and fix all the things he and his fraternity buddies drunkenly date-raped in the back seats of their daddies' cars - while the cops got paid to look the other way - and attempt to make sure we all still get to live in a country where things like Freedom of Speech, Religion, and Assembly are a Right and not an invitation to be arrested as a Terrorist.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Friday, October 08, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Wow, SNL Sucks...
I gotta say, I'm the Biggest SNL Apologist around, but this new season blows more than Harry James on Betty Grable's vagina-trumpet.
Once Jane Lynch fails next week, I predict Lorne Michaels will pull the fire alarm and call for an R.E.H. (Rapid-Emergency-Host) trifecta of Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin, Paul Simon.
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
GUESS WHO SAID THIS...?
"I shall give a propaganda reason for starting the war; whether it is plausible or not. The victor will not be asked whether he told the truth."
A. George W. Bush
B. Hitler
C. All of the above.
http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/new-documents-show-bush-administration-plan
A. George W. Bush
B. Hitler
C. All of the above.
http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/new-documents-show-bush-administration-plan
Katy Perry sings "Hot N Cold" with Elmo on Sesame Street!
Would this video be less controversial if Elmo could blink? Right now he just looks like a pervert either staring at Katy Perry's boobs or trying hard NOT to stare at Katy Perry's boobs. Boobs.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
This is NOT America...
"All Faggots Must Die...!"
http://gawker.com/5645463/republican-senator-confirms-gay+bashing-blog-comment-came-from-his-office
http://gawker.com/5645463/republican-senator-confirms-gay+bashing-blog-comment-came-from-his-office
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Beatles vs. The Rolling Stones: Why It's Not a Fair Fight
The Other Night I was watching TV and on one of the movie channels there suddenly appeared "One Plus One" (1968) by French film-making maverick Jean-Luc Goddard. It's basically a documentary about the recording of the Rolling Stones' brilliant "Sympathy for the Devil," with some other no-longer-fresh, French New Wave interpretations of Black Panther shit that's only relevant to people who smoke retro-Gauloises and think Jessie Jackson MATTERS.
I called to my teen-aged kids "you gotta come watch this! THIS will explain to you why the Rolling Stones KICK ASS!" So we watched it. We watched a documentary, directed by a genius, about the Rolling Stones recording their MASTERPIECE.
It was the most boring snooze-fest I've ever witnessed. I was embarrassed that I'd dragged my kids away from "Red Dead Redemption" for this. The Rolling Stones slept-walked their way through the process, basically confirming my fears that their best work was the result of SHEAR LUCK.
When the movie was over I knew I had to redeem myself in the eyes of my now suspicious kids. I quickly popped in my old VHS copy of "Let it Be" before they could make a get-away. "Okay, okay, forget that. HERE'S a documentary that REALLY kicks ass, about a band we ALL KNOW kicks GALACTIC ASS!" So we watched "Let it Be." And my kids were enthralled. My son Max (who now is called "Graham") said: "Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell this movie was made only 4 1/2 years after 'A Hard Day's Night?!'" I nodded sagely and replied: "yes."
So basically we learned that even in "Let it Be," directed by the talented, though Journeyman artist Michael Lindsay-Hogg, which is Universally acknowledged to show them at their WORST, the Beatles STILL kick the ASS of the Rolling Stones, as evident in "One on One," the documentary directed by RENOWNED GENIUS Jean-Luc Goddard and showing the Stones AT THE PINNACLE of their creative talent.
I called to my teen-aged kids "you gotta come watch this! THIS will explain to you why the Rolling Stones KICK ASS!" So we watched it. We watched a documentary, directed by a genius, about the Rolling Stones recording their MASTERPIECE.
It was the most boring snooze-fest I've ever witnessed. I was embarrassed that I'd dragged my kids away from "Red Dead Redemption" for this. The Rolling Stones slept-walked their way through the process, basically confirming my fears that their best work was the result of SHEAR LUCK.
When the movie was over I knew I had to redeem myself in the eyes of my now suspicious kids. I quickly popped in my old VHS copy of "Let it Be" before they could make a get-away. "Okay, okay, forget that. HERE'S a documentary that REALLY kicks ass, about a band we ALL KNOW kicks GALACTIC ASS!" So we watched "Let it Be." And my kids were enthralled. My son Max (who now is called "Graham") said: "Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell this movie was made only 4 1/2 years after 'A Hard Day's Night?!'" I nodded sagely and replied: "yes."
So basically we learned that even in "Let it Be," directed by the talented, though Journeyman artist Michael Lindsay-Hogg, which is Universally acknowledged to show them at their WORST, the Beatles STILL kick the ASS of the Rolling Stones, as evident in "One on One," the documentary directed by RENOWNED GENIUS Jean-Luc Goddard and showing the Stones AT THE PINNACLE of their creative talent.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
THIS is America...
Protester steals Quran, thwarts burning...
Protester steals Quran, thwarts burning | Amarillo.com | Amarillo Globe-News
Protester steals Quran, thwarts burning | Amarillo.com | Amarillo Globe-News
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
9/11
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I've been looking for footage of 9/11 (in case you don't remember, it's when some terrorists flew some planes into some buildings in NYC) to commemorate the event, remember the folks who died, the rescuers who were heroes, etc. but any search of "9/11" on Google also brings up George W. Bush's involvement in that day and the brutal ass-fucking America took that day because of that man, his lies, his greed, and his hatred of American Values and suddenly you wonder "what's the point?" All of our assholes are still bleeding because of that asshole and his asshole criminal buddies; and all the asshole, douche-bags who are going to exploit that tragedy for their own asshole douche-bag Nazi reasons. It's All Too Much.
Monday, September 06, 2010
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Friday, September 03, 2010
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Glenn Beck: that Rapscallion!
Does Glenn Beck speak for you? Sure, he can be a little "out there" some times, but Glenn only says out loud what we are all thinking, right? Do you hear what Glenn Beck says and think to yourself: "huh. that's interesting. I never really thought about it that way before. This guy might be on to something?" If that's the case, then your value as a human being and resident of our universe just dropped just below the little pieces of colored felt my dogs shit out of themselves after chewing up a tennis ball.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
BEST/WORST SURPRISING CAMEOS EVER...
BEST:
BILL MURRAY in "Little Shop of Horrors."
WORST:
JIMMY FALLON in "Band of Brothers."
BILL MURRAY in "Little Shop of Horrors."
WORST:
JIMMY FALLON in "Band of Brothers."
Really...? That's what you're going with...?
Bill Clinton had sex with some intern and wanted to keep it on the down-low. George Bush FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS and then made it illegal NOT to tell him "thank you."
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