Friday, March 05, 2010

Princess Aiko unable to go to school after boys treated her harshly+



Wow. Two things. I know "Emperor of Japan" doesn't have the same cache it did before August, 1945 but in what universe does the FARKIN' EMPEROR OF JAPAN have to ask permission of his grandkid's school to release info about his grand-daughter being bullied?! And second, WHAT UNIVERSE are those boys' parents going to have to move to when the Japanese learn their little sushi-turds have been bullying the Emperor's grand-daughter??!

Monday, March 01, 2010

Hope This Helps, Ms. Dorson




Why I Regret Voting For President Obama

by Jill Dorson



Don't you worry your pretty little head, Jill, honey. Those of us who voted for Obama -- not for me, not for you, but for America -- will see this through to the next round. Just know that by voting for Obama, you voted the American Nazi Party (formerly the Republican Party) out of power, and that was Good Enough.

You see all the Rightwing-nuts who've responded to your article? They're called "the Retarded Minority," and the frothy spittle that flies out of their usually open mouth-holes is ACIDIC! Like those dinosaur things (or what THEY call "Jesus Horses") in "Jurassic Park." By voting against Sarah Palin, (and apparently accidentally for Obama. I can't really tell from your article. "Obama turned out to be a hard-working politician struggling against mouth-breathing pinheads instead of the Magical Half-Unicorn Elf-Man from Pandora I was expecting and now I can't have sex?" At least that's the best I could make from it.) Anway, THOSE Rightwing, tea-bagging Republitards are the America Haters you helped protect our country from. People like FRankG, Cupcake, and jpsbman who are eager to hold America down while the Nazi-Cons try to tushy-rape us again.

Here's another way to put it. Remember "that" scene from "Deliverance?" The Sarah Palin fanatics / teabaggers / Republitards are the hillbillies drilling Ned Beatty ("America") from behind. I know, I know, picturing America as Ned Beatty is hard enough, but everyone who voted for Obama, including you...? We're Burt Reynolds, with a bow-and-arrow!! And not just ANY Burt Reynolds... we're 1972 Burt Reynolds! So in 2010/12, when the Right tells you to help make America "squeal like a pig" for them, try to be Burt Reynolds one more time. And pretty soon you get to be in an even COOLER movie and make out with young Sally Fields!

Now before you get the vapors just go back to your settee, grab some hummus and tofu chips (50% off at Trader Joe's!) and put "Ellen" back on. Take a deep breath. There... feel better? We'll take it from here...

(SIGH)




When the original source is SO BRILLIANT that even a director as talented as Tim Burton can't get a grip on it until he's allowed to "re-imagine" it, you know there's gonna be trouble up ahead.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010

A News Dawn...?




http://www.politicususa.com/en/hep-smith-healthcare

Is anyone else sensing a new era of "open season" on politicians, i.e. calling them on their bullshiat? In the last couple of months, especially with the praise after President Obama owned the R's at that first televised meeting, many reporters are starting to enjoy the publicity brownie points they get when they actually do what they're supposed to be doing in the first place: their jobs. "Hey, if I call this a-hole a misleading, talking-points-only liar to his face, I get some press of my own!!" Sigh. Whatever it takes, I guess, to make these political frauds (R or D) keep their noses clean.

Fingers crossed!!

Keep Up the Good Work, Republicans!




http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/2/26/840976/-Breaking:-Republican-Senator-to-Unemployed:-Tough-Sh*t.

And when his constituents, who'll vote him back into office because their only concern is keeping the reigns on "that socialist, America-hating nigger in the White House," find themselves running out of unemployment benefits, I'll have one response for them...

"Tough Shit."

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Can I Be a Hipster Now...?


I LOVE Zach Galifianakis! I swear! So can I be a hipster now? Pleeeeeeeaze...?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I LOVE THIS MAN!


Bear Grylls, is there nothing you can't make out of squirrels, bamboo, and an abandoned twist-tie? <3 <3 <3 !!

Happy 92nd (!!) Birthday Major Winters!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Winters

Thursday, January 07, 2010

AMERICA FOR AMERICANS!!





If you oppose immigrants coming to this country and stealing our ALREADY low-paying, subservient job then make your voice heard. (Unless your ancestors were those Irish or German or Italian immigrants in the 1800's who stole the low-paying, subservient jobs from the REAL Americans. If that's the case then go back to Socialist Europe where you belong!!!)

Thursday, December 31, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!

Which do you think there's more of?











The PAST...?

Or the FUTURE...?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #7 (CHRISTMAS EDITION)















NOG-LOAD.

"Wow, Jim, you were pretty drunk at the office party last night!"

"Tell me about it. I think I drank a nog-load of bourbon."

"Did you know you got fired?"

"What?"

Simply Having a...

Friday, December 18, 2009

It's Friday... AGAIN??!!

Bless you, Pope Gregory XIII and the wonderful calendar named after you!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

How is this not sexy...?


Alexis Dziena in "Fool's Gold."

Friday, December 11, 2009

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Selling Out to Survive


















Selling Out to Survive

Only Hipster Douche-Bags (in their $200 "Thrift Store Style" jeans) and Olds get this pissy when hearing songs in commercials. BFD! If your head-thinker can't separate the commercial version of the song and the version of the song that actually meant something to you, then you should be listening to records of squirrels fight. (I say "records" because obviously you'd sniff at anything that "not pure vinyl.")

Sometimes the mixture of the song + commercial leads to some good art: like a couple years ago and that awesome Hummer commercial with "Happy Jack." It was like a mini-Wes Anderson movie! And Nick Drake would probably kill himself if he'd missed that marketing opportunity to pair "Pink Moon" up with Volkswagen! (Yes. I know. It's called "irony." Ask your teen-aged kids.)

In the purest sense, as soon as a musician offers his "art" in exchange for money he's a sell out. And unless you know some musicians who'd prefer to live in a tent made out of bark and eat nothing but squirrels, every musician out there is technically a "sell-out."

So let these people make money the best way they can, and you keep downloading their music for free on the interwebs.

Seacrest, Out!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Pray For Sarah


Order now as a companion to your CafePress "Pray For Obama" items!

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

HIROSHIMA = PEACE


Hopefully, the Japanese People will never again become so brutally vile and horrific that they need to have an Atomic Bomb dropped on them. Peace Forever!

Friday, November 06, 2009

Watch JONAS this Weekend...!


Directed by one of Hollywood's Bright Young Talents!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Had a Dream Last Night...














I was at the Racetrack...



... with Henry Kissinger and his 20-year-old fiancee...








...her mother and brother...








...and Tom Brokaw and his agent.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

GLENN BECK RAPED AND MURDERED A LITTLE GIRL IN 1990!





Holy CRAP!! Check THIS out!!!

http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/

The shocking thing is Glenn Beck isn't DENYING this!! I am a huge fan and I can't believe this is true, but the more he doesn't deny it, the more more guilty he appears. Just like Glenn Beck accused President Obama regarding accusations of Socialism/Muslimism/Communism/Kenyanism/UFOism/etc.ism and then said Obama MUST be guilty because he won't deny it!

GLENN BECK, don't let us down!! Please answer these accusations against you!! And really beat the Liberals at their own game... just like you refused to accept the Governor of Hawaii's confirmation of President Obama's U.S. birth records, show them that you can play by your own rules and not accept legitimate police records provided by official police sources!!

Friday, October 09, 2009

NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #6


A BUMBLE OF BEES...

"Hey, Jacques, why so out of breath?"

"I was being chased by an entire bumble of bees!!!"

NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #5


A PUKE OF LIVER (COOKED)...

"Awww, Mom. How much of this liver do I have to eat!?"

"You have to eat the whole puke, dear, or you go back in the hole."

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #4


A SHELF OF DVDS...

"I have to return some DVDs to the rental store."

"How many do you have?"

"Jesus, a whole shelf, I think."

Sunday, October 04, 2009

NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #3


A SCRIBBLE OF PENCILS...

"How many pencils do you need?"
"We're gonna pull an all-nighter, so I'll probably need a whole scribble."

THE WOOLLY BANDITS

Best band at the Eagle Rock Music Festival yesterday!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Friday, October 02, 2009

NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #2


A KABOODLE OF KITTENS...

"Did you see all those cute kittens!?"
"I know! There was a whole kaboodle of them!"

NEW WORDS FOR GROUPS OF THINGS #1



A SCRUM OF PUPPIES...

"The Hendersons have, like, a SCRUM of puppies over at their place!"

Thursday, October 01, 2009

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY'S BOGUS TOP 25 LIST OF "CULT" TV SHOWS...















http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20302134_20304619,00.html

Isn't this just another EW list with a made-up topic so that the editors can brag about basically *their* favorite shows? I thought a "cult" show was one that doesn't play well across the board, sometimes with critics -- mostly with mainstream viewers, but is appreciated by a small group of die-hard fans. "Off-Beat" (as mentioned in the article header) isn't the same as "cult."

"Buffy?" Really? A cult show? Wasn't that a huge hit for the WB? And "X-Files?" Sure, it's purposefully made to *seem* like a cult show but it practically helped put FOX on the map. The show it was imitating, "Twin Peaks," is a cult show. "Venture Brothers?" A huge hit for Cartoon Network... also the animated "Tick." The live action "Tick...?" Now THAT'S a cult show, as was "Get a Life." "Prisoner:" a cult show. "Dr. Who:" a MASSIVE hit that's been running for, what, 45 (45!!!) years? When is this no longer a cult show? Maybe around year 25... 26? "Veronica Mars" was a GIANT hit for UPN until it started sucking, and low-numbers-due-to-suck + a hot chick does not equal "cult." Isn't "Chuck" STILL ON!? Trust me, NBC does NOT broadcast "cult" shows.

"Battlestar Galactica," the show that launched SyFy channel into the medium/big leagues, a cult show? Now that's just silly.

BUT the ONE omission that makes this entire list null-and-void is the lack of "Arrested Development." That sea-sick inducing, shakey-cam'd, barely tolerable bowl of beloved "preciousness" is a true cult show, no matter how much you might hate it.

Good night, god bless...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

466 HITS!!!

Only two blocks down from the Devil!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Steampunk?


Oh, Steampunk, you're SO precious! I especially loved you back in 1985 when you were called "Terry Gilliam's Brazil."

Sunday, September 20, 2009

MEGAN FOX BOMBS! (Diablo Cody Becomes Just a Little Bit More Invisible)




Thank you, God of Movies. After its VERY low 5th place finish now we won't have to watch any more of those brain-numbing "Jennifer's Body" trailers. (Unless they come up with a "#1 Crappy Vampire Movie Starring a Piece of Sugarless Cotton Candy Wearing a Belly Shirt!" campaign. Oh, shit. Now I'm nervous.) And can we finally be done with Random Slang Generator / Champion Publicity Whore Diablo Cody? Pleeeeassse!?

I WANTED A "TICKLE-ME ELMO..."


...but instead I got THIS!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Finally Got the New Rock Band Game


Not sure what all the fuss is about though.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

ANATOMY LESSON #1

THIS is a VAGINA


















THIS is a TWAT...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

MORE THAN 200 HITS??!!

Thanks, Vistors!! Time to CELEBRATE! Here's a picture of a donkey, and puppy in a tree!




Monday, September 07, 2009

President Obama Speaks to Kids...!!!!????


Parents who aren't going to let their kids hear President Obama's speech on Education... thank you for being JUST AS RETARDED as the Republicans were hoping you'd be. Please ask your kids (or even the family dog) for some enlightenment -- obviously they are WAY smarter than you can ever hope to be.

Friday, September 04, 2009

FINAL DESTINATION - 4

Enjoy the gentle comedy, and then check out: http://www.youtube.com/user/wendymccolm

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

All Hail the "Birthers!"


It all simply boils down to one irrefutable fact: U.S. Citizen Obama is the duly elected President of the United States.

Any military personnel who refuse to deploy when ordered by their CinC are disobeying orders and should be punished appropriately.

There is more evidence that Obama is a U.S. Citizen than there is that George W. Bush actually won the 2000 election so in reality, EVERYTHING the Bush Administration committed between 1/2001 and 1/2009 can be considered a crime, not just the ACTUAL crimes they committed in our names.

The "No he isn't! / "Yes he is!" fight is as petty and irrelevant as any you'd find on an elementary school monkey-bars.

It's not about birth certificates (because honestly, Birthers, you know you're not going to accept ANYthing as final proof, am I right?) and it's not about the latest wwrglblrgl Sarah Palin (bless her heart!) is drooling. It's about the bait-and-switch.

The politicians (especially the NeoCons) LOVE it when we get into these arguments because it distracts us from the real problems in this country that they're not fixing while they rob us blind.

If you believe that Obama's not legally the President, or that his health plan has secret "death panels," or that his policies are "Socialist," then you are just as stupid as your Congressmen and Senators were hoping you were.

If Senator McCain had won in 2008 can you imagine the shiat-storm of scorn and revilement these same birthers would be flinging on anyone who questioned HIS citizenship? At least Obama was born in the United States! (McCain being born on a US Navy base in Panama isn't enough to make him a citizen, it's his parents. Same as Obama and HIS mother for you Birthers who need to go all the way to an Indonesian birth to make your crazy math work.)

So Birthers, let's just drop this insanity and get back to fixing the country. And if you can't drop it, at least get out of the way so the rest of us can fix the country for you, while you hang out with your mental equals: Bigfoot Hunters, Alien Abductees, and Glenn Beck.

On second thought, I think Bigfoot Hunters probably have more going on upstairs than Glenn Beck.

Rage-filled Right-Wing mouth-frothers may now line up on the left to rebut.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

"It Was 70 Years Ago Today..."












"Hi, Poland? This is Germany. We think we left our wallet in Warsaw, mind if we come over and look for it? Just take a minute..."

Monday, August 31, 2009

AUGUST 31st

Finale!!



and, just because I love this one so much...


I hope you enjoyed the trip. I know I did!

AUGUST 30th

Glamorous...!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

AUGUST 29th

100+ Visitors! I'm all pixilated!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009

BONUS!

Here's a bonus video, because wiggly dogs are always fun...

AUGUST 27th

Fancy!

AUGUST 26th

What a romantic story...!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009

 

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