Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Pixies are Twee!


MAYNOTLAST: Sorry, Haters... (Wildcatfan82, I'm looking at YOU over my laptop while I sit here in Starbucks pretending to be a writer) but when I want a stew of contrived, pretentious twee-ness I put on a White Stripes album: Retro-vinyl, of course. Whaaat!? (Now I'm pounding the air above my head with my palms.) Gotta run -- Zach Galifianakis is on Conan!

TANTRUM: Way off the mark, dude. You are unfamiliar with the term "twee."

MAYNOTLAST: Ahh, thank you. But you probably didn't understand -- I was using it to describe the Pixies. Next...?

TANTRUM: Yeah, the Pixies aren't twee. Nirvana isn't twee. Belle and Sebastian is twee. Hence, you sound foolish..

MAYNOTLAST: You're right, Nirvana isn't twee. But the Pixies are. Frank Black calling himself "Black Francis" nails THAT case shut. (Although can you blame him? He'd be run out of every carefully crafted dive bar in Hipster Heaven with a zaftig moniker like "Charles Michael Kittridge Thompson IV.") And don't worry, I can sound foolish on way more important topics than these fauxsters. I'd like to discuss Sonic Youth, but I'm afraid my computer will explode with the bile and hatred spewed by all you "opened-minded" musicologists.

Gracias & goodnight.

(and then Wildcatfan82 told mommy on me and I can't post at Fark:Music for a while)

Friday, June 26, 2009

Mama's Got a Brand New Bag


Hallelujah! Auntie Sarah's found a new scam to foam-up the Retarded Right. Thanks to the spot-light boost on her faux-outrage over Letterman's jokes, I have a sneaking suspicion that most 2012 Presidential Race press conferences, blogs, pundits shows and "town hall meetings" will now be peppered with Nazi-con plants, shooting pre-approved "distasteful" questions at the candidate from Alaska so she can be "outraged" and "concerned" about the dangers confronting "real america."
 

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