Christmas Day @ the Beach!

HE: "Hey, let's take your sister and her husband and the kids out on the boat!"

SHE: "Really? The weather's not too good."

HE: "C'mon! They drove here all the way from Des Moines. Let's give 'em some SoCal flavor."

SHE: "Look at the waves!"

HE: "The waves aren't that big."

SHE: "They're pretty big, Derek. And the weather guy on TV just said another storm was coming."

HE: "The local weather guy? Those guys are dip-shits and the woman are porn stars. I'm taking the boat out."

SHE: "I don't think it's a good idea."

HE: "Kids!! Turn off the X-box and get your slickers on, we're going sailing!"

KIDS: "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!"

SHE: "I'm sorry but you are NOT taking the kids out in this weather. Look at those black clouds."

HE: "Oh, c'mon, those clouds are gray."

SHE: "No. Me and my sister are taking the kids to see 'Gulliver's Travels.'"

HE: "Then me and Bob'll go out by ourselves."

SHE: "Right. Bob. Bob who's already had eleven tequila shots and it's only 2 pm."

BROTHER-IN-LAW BOB: "I'm on vacation!"

HE: "I can handle the 'SS Party Island" by myself."

SHE: (mutters)

HE: "Excuse me?"

SHE: "Nothing. C'mon kids, we're going to see 'Gulliver's Travels'."

KIDS: "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!"

HE: "Told ya."

BOB: "You're out of limes."

HE: "Let's go, Bob. There's limes on the boat."

BOB: "Rock 'n Roll!!!"