Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Remember the "Marathon Month of Covers" last summer? Did you ever think we'd find 30+ covers of "Seasons in the Sun?" Here's a taste of the "Marathon Month of Covers" that'll be heading our way 1/1/11. Let's GO!! 2011 hits by New Year's Eve!!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
...and while He's NOT happy that we didn't reach 2000 hits for his birthday Jesus realizes we're only human, "the children of a lesser god," created in the image of his lazy, buck-passing, glory-hogging, blame-throwing, ADHD father so Jesus is cool enough to cut us some slack and extend the deadline to NEW YEAR'S DAY.
So let's start off 2011 (pronounced "twenty-eleven" and NOT "two-thousand-eleven" -- I mean, come on, is December 7th, one-thousand-nine-hundred-and-forty-one going to be a day that will live in infamy? NO!) with a real bang and get this website 2000 (twenty hundred) hits for JESUS!!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
HE: "Hey, let's take your sister and her husband and the kids out on the boat!"
SHE: "Really? The weather's not too good."
HE: "C'mon! They drove here all the way from Des Moines. Let's give 'em some SoCal flavor."
SHE: "Look at the waves!"
HE: "The waves aren't that big."
SHE: "They're pretty big, Derek. And the weather guy on TV just said another storm was coming."
HE: "The local weather guy? Those guys are dip-shits and the woman are porn stars. I'm taking the boat out."
SHE: "I don't think it's a good idea."
HE: "Kids!! Turn off the X-box and get your slickers on, we're going sailing!"
SHE: "I'm sorry but you are NOT taking the kids out in this weather. Look at those black clouds."
HE: "Oh, c'mon, those clouds are gray."
SHE: "No. Me and my sister are taking the kids to see 'Gulliver's Travels.'"
HE: "Then me and Bob'll go out by ourselves."
SHE: "Right. Bob. Bob who's already had eleven tequila shots and it's only 2 pm."
BROTHER-IN-LAW BOB: "I'm on vacation!"
HE: "I can handle the 'SS Party Island" by myself."
HE: "Excuse me?"
SHE: "Nothing. C'mon kids, we're going to see 'Gulliver's Travels'."
HE: "Told ya."
BOB: "You're out of limes."
HE: "Let's go, Bob. There's limes on the boat."
BOB: "Rock 'n Roll!!!"
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
In the past WEEK (!) President Obama has repealed "Don't Ask Don't Tell," got the "START Treaty" ratified despite opposition from almost criminally douche-baggy National Socialists (sorry, "Republicans,") who were willing to put the PHYSICAL, GEOLOGICAL EXISTENCE of America at nuclear risk unless their temper-tantrum was quelled by quashing said repeal of DADT, got a tax bill through that contains most of stuff that's good for Actual Americans except for some hold-overs demanded by Douche-Bag millionaire National Socialists (SORRY, "Republicans!" I just watched a documentary about how the Nazi Party came to power in the early 1930's and the similarities between their tactics and GOP's have got me confused) and now the 9/11 "Responders Bill" is going through. How's that "Hopey-Changey" thing working out? Well, pretty damn good you cunty, Alaskan ginch.
Friday, December 17, 2010
The more I see about this new abomination called "Portlandia" the more I want to kick my TV set in. Fred Armisen AND some ginch from faux-lesbian-chic Sleater-Kinney? What kind of video-Nazis would foist this twee piece of "indie" preciousness on us. Go back to Canadian TV where you obviously belong. Fred Armisen has always seemed to me to be someone who, while they know how to ACT funny, doesn't have an actual sense of humor. Someone who likes to "deconstruct" comedy and "get down to the basics of what's makes us laugh." Well, Fred Armisen falling down a man-hole would make me laugh. (BTW, Natalie Portman also strikes me as someone who knows how to act "funny" or "sexy" or "sad" or "happy" but when the cameras are off she shuts-down faster than C3PO in Luke Skywalker's workshop.)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday, December 03, 2010
Thursday, December 02, 2010
We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.