Friday, August 27, 2010

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Glenn Beck: that Rapscallion!

Does Glenn Beck speak for you? Sure, he can be a little "out there" some times, but Glenn only says out loud what we are all thinking, right? Do you hear what Glenn Beck says and think to yourself: "huh. that's interesting. I never really thought about it that way before. This guy might be on to something?" If that's the case, then your value as a human being and resident of our universe just dropped just below the little pieces of colored felt my dogs shit out of themselves after chewing up a tennis ball.

Danielle Ate the Sandwich

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


BILL MURRAY in "Little Shop of Horrors."

JIMMY FALLON in "Band of Brothers."

Really...? That's what you're going with...?

Bill Clinton had sex with some intern and wanted to keep it on the down-low. George Bush FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS and then made it illegal NOT to tell him "thank you."

Worst Terrorist Name Ever...



Saturday, August 21, 2010


So close, and yet... so far...

Friday, August 20, 2010

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Disney Channel, Yeah!!

The Disney Channel said "we're really good at making Great TV shows!" No, no, no. They are TERRIBLE at making TV shows. The TV shows they make are TERRIBLE. They're FANTASTIC at SELLING Video Candy. They're like the Willy Wonkas of children's television. Except their big chocolate river is actually filled with actual shit.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

"Death Cab For Cutie"

Not the twee emo band, but the original song, by the Bonzo Dog Doo-dah Band...

Friday, August 13, 2010


I'm convinced that if you support Sarah Palin you are actually Retarded. Not "mentally challenged." Not "right leaning." Not even "Conservative." You are literally RETARDED. Like Corky. Like "Something About Mary's" brother. LIke the kid in 4th grade who masturbated on the bus ride to Colonial Williamsburg. You + Support for Sarah Palin = A form of Mental Retardation your care-takers can only THANK FAKE GOD that President Obama's health plan will help them pay for your care and poop-wiping upkeep. Truly blessed are the heartfelt souls who care for your finger-up-the-butt-then-sniffing-for-interest form of curiosity. You should consider yourselves lucky that the same Constitution your Right Wing leaders use as maxi-pads and "adult-diapers" protects your liberty to support this woman who would send you to a "special Patriotic Care Camp" for your own "protection." Just check the box next to her name then fire up the ovens and just lean in... a... little... further...


IT'S FRIDAY the 13TH!!! (with the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band!)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Tea-Party = Anti-America

Friday, August 06, 2010

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

If Life wasn't hard enough...

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Hey! Republitards and Tea-Baggers! Listen up!

THIS is what America is...

Occasionally, New York City's King, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, takes stands that aren't the easiest, politically. Now that Cordoba House—the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque"—will be constructed, let's give the man major credit for his rigorous defense.

Bloomberg gave an impressive speech this afternoon at Governors Island, with the Statue of Liberty behind him, to defend Cordoba House. The Muslim community center is now certain to be constructed after the Landmarks Preservation Commission voted unanimously this morning against providing historical status to the building near Ground Zero that will be demolished to make way for Cordoba.

The mayor's speech lived up to the grandiose optics. He even choked up at one point! We'd recommend reading the whole thing, if you get the chance. But here's a good section:

"The attack was an act of war, and our first responders defended not only our city, but our country and our constitution. We do not honor their lives by denying the very constitutional rights they died protecting. We honor their lives by defending those rights and the freedoms that the terrorists attacked.

"Of course, it is fair to ask the organizers of the mosque to show some special sensitivity to the situation, and in fact their plan envisions reaching beyond their walls and building an interfaith community. But doing so, it is my hope that the mosque will help to bring our city even closer together, and help repudiate the false and repugnant idea that the attacks of 9/11 were in any ways consistent with Islam.

"Muslims are as much a part of our city and our country as the people of any faith. And they are as welcome to worship in lower Manhattan as any other group. In fact, they have been worshipping at the site for better, the better part of a year, as is their right. The local community board in lower Manhattan voted overwhelmingly to support the proposal. And if it moves forward, I expect the community center and mosque will add to the life and vitality of the neighborhood and the entire city.

"Political controversies come and go, but our values and our traditions endure, and there is no neighborhood in this city that is off-limits to God's love and mercy, as the religious leaders here with us can attest."

The speech was a nice way to mark the end—or at least the end of this chapter—of the controversy. Bloomberg probably didn't expect this local zoning board dispute to become a national referendum when he started defending it, months ago. This was before Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, the National Republican Trust PAC, the Anti-Defamation League and many New York politicians stepped in to exploit the red meat at hand.

So today we give props to Michael Bloomberg, for sticking by his values on this one, and putting his famous stubborn streak to great use.

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